A few of this week's messages and PMs:
Quote:
Y0 d00d. Rum0r h4s it y00se h4s m3t 1007ius! Is th4t tr00?
Sign3d,
l337
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(sic)
Lootius and me frequently drink beer together, yes.
Ps. Your keyboard is vowelly impaired, 1337.
Quote:
REQUEST FOR URGENT BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP
FIRST, I MUST SOLICIT YOUR STRICTEST CONFIDENCE IN THIS TRANSACTION. THIS IS BY VIRTUE OF ITS NATURE AS BEING UTTERLY CONFIDENTIAL AND 'TOP SECRET'. I AM SURE AND HAVE CONFIDENCE OF YOUR ABILITY AND RELIABILITY TO PROSECUTE A TRANSACTION OF THIS
GREAT MAGNITUDE INVOLVING A PENDING TRANSACTION REQUIRING MAXIIMUM CONFIDENCE.
blablabla
I HAVE THEREFORE, BEEN DELEGATED AS A MATTER OF TRUST BY MY COLLEAGUES OF THE PANEL TO LOOK FOR AN OVERSEAS PARTNER INTO WHOSE ACCOUNT WE WOULD TRANSFER THE SUM OF US$21,320,000.00(TWENTY ONE MILLION, THREE HUNDRED AND TWENTY THOUSAND U.S DOLLARS). HENCE WE ARE WRITING YOU THIS LETTER.
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W00t! RICHES FOR THE FALLZ0RZ!
DEAR DR CLEMENT OKON,
I HEREBY WILL ALLOW YOU TO TRANSFER ALL YOUR MONEYS TO MY ACCOUNT. PLEASE URGENTLY DO SO AT THE FIRST POSSIBLE OPPORTUNITY. IF YOU ARE LUCKY YOU CAN LOCATE ME IN THE BAHAMAS SHORTLY AFTER SIPPING COCKTAILS THROUGH THEM CURLY STRAWS!
RESPECTFULLY,
VIAGRAFALLS.
PS. IS YOUR CAPS LOCK BUTTON STUCK?
Quote:
Hello. I am writing your excellency because you are the MacDaddy of dating it seems. How did you manage to land such a fine lady as Lykke? What is your secret?
My usual tactics involve lots of beer, but I do start fearing I am a sex object: Whenever I suggest sex, the girls object. Even showing off my massive PK strikes seem to not make them want to fiddle in their downstairs departments.
Please help!
-Anoymous-
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Hello Ano. Mine if I call you Any, Anous? No? K, cool.
The trick is all in self-confidence. When you feel confident about yourself, you will become irresistable to women.
If that fails, put a rolled up sock down your pants, start wearing a wedding ring, or go the old fashioned way: Club them on the head and drag them back to your pad.
Hope this was helpful!
Dr. Love.
P.s. your letter smelled. Tried showering?
Quote:
Mister VF!
I would very much like a date with that hunk Jove. Can you be of any assistance? Please keep this letter anonymous!
K, thanks *big wet sloppy kiss*
Knuckles' mom.
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Jove, rather you than me... The mere thought of receiving a sloppy kiss from her has kept me up for a week now. I fear to close my eyes and just lie in bed crying.
Sorry man.
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As you can see, the tome of wisdom that is VF is able to answer any question you might have about loot, the universe, and everything. So fear not, fellow Calypsionians and start PMing away! I shall answer your questions with professional advice!
If you wish to remain anonymous, please state so. A good laugh will be had by just me. Well, and all the others who I would forward your message to, of course.
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